The Avant Garden

Avant Gardener's note: A self-proclaimed word-nerd and a manipulator of things natural, I have come up with a vocabulary -- often of four-letter words but many others as well -- of my own. Here are a few.

archable -- (ärch-uh-'buhl) 1. (n) A rock featuring opposite surfaces of an angle that might aid in the construction of an arch.

bustass -- ('bust-ass) 1. (n) That slimy, slippery stuff found on rocks in the River that can cause even the most careful person to slip and get hurt.  2. An accident involving falling on one's hindquarters: Walking across a rock covered in bustass, Jill felt like a bustass about to happen.

cheater -- ('chE-tuhr) 1. (n) A rock used in arch construction, usually one that is larger and bridges more space than the rest. Sometimes used when rocks are scarce or out of reach, often they will be replaced by more traditional, uniform archables later. The example (left) shows an arch someone began building atop two tall rocks, when he ran out of similarly-sized stones and had to use a cheater (big one in the middle).

deadender -- (ded-'in-d&r) 1. (n) A rock upon which absolutely no one -- not even the great rock handlers of the 1950s -- could balance another rock of substance.

dependent balance -- (de-pihn-'dehnt 'bal-uns) 1. (n) A stack of rocks in which one or more of the rocks would not be standing if not for the weight of the rock(s) above it. The example (right) shows a stack featuring two dependent balances. Rock B would not stand on rock A without the weight of rock C. Rock C would not sit on rock B without the weight of rock D. If the top rock (D) falls, all three fall.

DNPWWO -- ('dEn-pO, the WW is silent) Anagram for "Does Not Play Well With Others." Certain rocks absolutely refuse to cooperate no matter what project you invite them to participate in. They get DNPWWO written in their reports and are generally shunned.

drop rocks -- ('drahp-roks) 1. (v) For something so important to transpire that a manipulator might actually drop the rocks (or other materials) currently in use and attend to it. 2. A compliment to give someone: I'd drop rocks to talk to you.

face -- ('fAs) 1. (n) The most attractive (according to the manipulator involved) surface of a stone, the one a manipulator might wish to show off. 2. A rock that stands out as the most interesting or beautiful in a stack. 3. Any surface of any rock.

flat earth -- (flat ûrth) 1. (n) Any part of the Avant Gardener's life that is not of the avant garden, such as work-work and suburbia. 2. (adj) said of a person who just doesn't get it: My friend James told me I am wasting my time. He is the most flat-earth guy I know. 3. (adj) used to describe the simplest of rock stacks; i.e. one rock on top of another.

footprint -- ('fuht-print ) 1. (n) The surface on the bottom of a rock that will sit upon the top of the rock below it, if the rock will be taller than wider in that configuration. In the example (left), the stone was in the water, its footprint (bottom surface it is standing on) sticking up. I guessed I could find at least three  points of contact between that surface and that point above the rapid and could probably stand it.

fugenaut -- (fyoo-guh-nawtt) 1. (n) A unit of measure used to determine the sturdiness and/or potential lifespan of an item created of manipulated nature, often stone. For example, the Avant Gardener tests the strength of an arch by putting his fingertips on it and wiggling his wrist back and forth to see how much the arch might shift. The fugenaut scale runs from 1 -- 12, with 12 being the sturdiest.

grippy -- ('grip-E) 1. (adj) term used to describe rocks which have surfaces that adhere and work well with others. A good example would be chunks of coral or freshly quarried granite.

hanging sheet -- ('hAng-ing shEt) 1. (v) When a rock puts more face into the wind than it will have footprint to handle. The example (left) shows a standing rock that puts a lot of surface area to face the wind and is perched precariously on a very small point. Often the manipulator who builds such things knows the wind will most likely topple it soon, but it is better to have experienced it even for a brief moment than to never have known it at all. 

keystone -- ('kE-stOn) 1. (n) The stone in an arch that applies pressure on two downward-facing  planes, holding the two legs of the arch in place. The yellowish rock in the center of this arch on the right is a good example of a keystone.

leaner -- ('lee-n&r) 1. (n) A pile of rocks that leans into a bigger rock; half an arch, rocks dependent upon one another to stand, but with no keystone.

material hog -- ('muh-tEr-E-uhl hog) 1. (n) a project that uses more material than other creations in the area see illustration, left 2. (n) a person who invades an area where a maipulator is already working and takes control of more than her/her share of material

pedestal -- (ped-uh'-stuhl) 1. A rock or stack of rocks that will support a larger or more intricate entity.

philistine -- (fil-uh-'stIn) 1. (n) A flat earth person who not only doesn't "get it," but who throws rocks or otherwise vandalizes things others have put together. also: Phyllis Stein. 2. A smug, ignorant, especially middle-class person who is regarded as being indifferent or antagonistic to artistic and cultural values (courtesy thefreedictionary.com).

plate -- ('plAt) 1. A flat, round rock often found in streams of Western North Carolina, about the size of a dinner plate. A plate is bigger than a saucer but smaller than a platter.

platter -- ('plat-t&r) 1. A flat, usually oval rock often found in streams of Western North Carolina, about the size of a serving platter. A platter is bigger than a plate and a saucer.

saucer -- ('sôs-&r) 1. A flat, round rock often found in streams of Western North Carolina, about the size of a saucer. A saucer is smaller than a plate and a platter.

shelf -- ('shelf) 1. A long flat rock, often placed on a pedestal, upon which a manipulator might build further up and/or out.

spacer -- (spA-s&r) 1. (n) A stone in an arch formation that merely takes up space without influencing the curvature necessary to create an arch.

stander -- (stan-d&r) 1. (n) A rock that is proportionally much taller than its footprint is large.  
Big in height and weight; small in footprint ... good stander

turner -- (t&r-n&r) 1. (n) A stone in an arch formation that has more influence proportionally on the curvature of the arch than the amount of space it occupies in the arch.